Suicide: The Silent Assassin

Standard

Today, I write with a grieving heart.  Yesterday afternoon, a acting student of mine, wrote to me saying to pray for his family because his sister committed suicide in the morning.  As I read the words, there was a numbness that washed over me and pictures of his sister played in my head.  I see her laughing, smiling, and curly hair moving in the wind as she is shooting a scene in our silent movie.  I connected back saying i will lift his family up in prayer and gave him my number so he can reach me.  After that, i would examine each image in my mind, searching, hoping, that there was a clue that showed that this was going to happen; but i couldn’t find one.

Suicide is always a touchy subject.  We grieve when a beloved takes their life and we get angry when someone kills themselves after they killed a hand full of people.  Some people see it as cowardice and others see it as honorable.  What we do not seem to acknowledge is what is going on inside the person who is contemplating death.  Environment, culture, religion, social settings all factor in our view on the issue, that it is hard to get to the facts and find solutions before it is too late. It’s easy to be vocal when it is after the fact, but what happens before?  What steps can one take? can we do anything?

Here are some stats about adolescence and suicide.

  1. Suicide is ranked third as the leading cause of death among adolescents.
  2. Between 1952 and 1995, the rate of suicide among adolescents rose 300 percent.
  3. the average likelihood is that every year a teacher can expect at least one or two adolescents to contemplate of attempt suicide each year.
  4. A principle of a school can expect on average one complete suicide every five years.

Source information pulled from Crisis Intervention Strategies, Sixth Edition.

These numbers are staggering.  We can blame mental illness, but our culture still has an unhealthy relationship with the mental health institutions.  Plus some people are clear-cut case studies and others are not.

We can blame parents, schools, bullies, the justice system, etc. as the cause of suicide, but what about those who do not fit the mold?

That’s why I think suicide is a silent assassin because it can shock those who have connections with the departed, who see only the outside, while the inside is hidden.

So what can we do about it?

  1.  What i think is to have an atmosphere in one’s household of openness and honesty.  When a safe place is established in the home, you will find that adolescents will be more open to share about what they are experiencing.  The difficult part about this is adolescents are going through so many hormonal changes that they may have issues pointing at the source.  You may even have an adolescent be disrespectful or say hurtful things that can cause one’s walls to be built up.  But a discipline of openness and honesty will go along way to prevent suicide.
  2. Look for the smallest cues.  Sometimes people will play big triggers (talking about dying, joking about dying, being more secluded, rapid change in behavior, etc.) but sometimes the smallest cues can shine through, even if the person is trying desperately to hide their feelings.  As i searched through my memory banks, one particular incident came to mind.  The young woman was dancing in the dining hall working on something for the talent show.  It was really good what she was doing, however, she must not have notice that i was there.  I said that she was doing a great job and she told me no that it was stupid.  I proceed to challenger her a bit and told her that the worst critic is the one inside you head.  Everyone here is going to love and support you with what you perform.  But at the end of the day, she decided not to perform her piece.  Could i have done more?  Should i have continue to press the matter?  Did this “silent assassin,” set up home in her head already at this point?  I don’t know.  If you do notice any of the smallest cues, address them.  Do not think it is a “phase” or “hormonal.”
  3. Make sure you know your sources.  Find a good counselor.  If you can find one who specializes in crisis intervention and/or suicide, set up an appointment.  Do not let money be the fear that prevents someone for healing.  look for other sources like suicide hotlines, or any kind of online crisis centers.  Having those resources available is a small step that can have life long consequences.
  4. Support and love those who have loss on to suicide.  Lift them up with prayer, bring them meals, give them hugs, do their errands, whatever it takes, pour love into those who grieve.  Not only will the family be appreciative but it will implant the idea that they have a support system in place.

 

Sources:

Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1 (800) 273-8255
American Counseling Association: https://www.counseling.org/
American Association of Christian Counselors: http://www.aacc.net/

#31DH: Bonus Movie – BeetleJuice

Standard

Synopsis: A couple of recently deceased ghosts contract the services of a “bio-exorcist” in order to remove the obnoxious new owners of their house.

Impressions:  I’ve seen this film multiple times as a kid and this was the first time in years that i got to see it as an adult, husband, and father.  It still has it’s wonderful charm even though the effects are a bit dated.  Keaton is great as the ghost with the most.

Social Message:  This is a film about families.  Adam and Barbra can’t have children which is why the realtor is trying to get them to downsize there living arrangements.  When they die and the Deetz move in, they do not get along with the family, except for Lydia, the deetz daughter.  When Lydia writes a suicide letter, she wants to because she wants to be with a family who sees and understands her.  The common enemy of Beetlejuice is what get’s both families to get along and Lydia gets to be with parents who are loving and cooperative when her biological parents.

#31DH: October 31, 2015 – Eyes Without a Face

Standard

Synopsis: A brilliant surgeon, Dr. Génessier, helped by his assistant Louise, kidnaps nice young women. He removes their faces and tries to graft them onto the head on his beloved

Impressions:  Such a shockingly beautiful film.  It was hard for me to appreciate the beauty and the horror that lies within.  If you ever question can art house and horror coexist, this movie will give you a definitive answer.

Social Message:  The mask that we wear are burdensome and troubling.  Eyes, is a film about trying to wear a mask to be presentable to others.  As the dr. tries to find a face for his daughter, whose face was severely disfigured, his daughter continues to do whatever it takes to wear the mask,  Why?  We like our maks because we can hide our true selves to others, trying to fit in others images or creating an illusion to be you but not be you, we end up feeling uncomfortable.  But we also feel uncomfortable being our true selves.  This is the paradoxical struggle we deal with for the rest of our lives until we succumb to the mask(s) we wear or we begin to feel comfortable in our own skin.

#31DH: October 30th, 2015 – Theatre of Blood

Standard

Synopsis:  A Shakespearean actor takes poetic revenge on the critics who denied him recognition.

Impressions:  This movie follows a similar formula as other Vincent Price movies (specifically Dr. Phibes), where a person takes revenge on a group of people and one by one die according to some roadmap (TOB uses shakespeare, Phibes uses the plagues of egypt.)  Since i enjoy the campy Price films, i though this was not only cleaver, but it really showed that Price was much more than a horror actor.

Social Message:  What is it about criticism that make us angry?  Even constructive criticism can make some people irritate.  When we give/take criticism we need to always think of it as not a degrading of our character and/or achievements but as a way to improve and better ourselves.

#31DH: October 29, 2015 – The Lazarus Effect

Standard

Synopsis:  A group of medical students discover a way to bring dead patients back to life.

Impressions:  I thought this movie was very interesting.  I liked how some actors who are known for their comedy take a more serious role in this film.  The concept is very frankenstein in away but puts a modern spin on the whole story.  However, the end ruined it for me leaving me feel cheated and turned off by this film.

Social Message:  In the frankenstein story we hit on the theme of man trying to play God.  This film hits on the same theme but really brings in the spiritual side of things.  When Zoe is brought back to life, she recalls a hellish scene.  Even Though she wore a cross, she still went to hell during her death.  It hits on an important aspect, that no matter what good we do, or how kind we are, that eventually we will have to face eternal judgement for our actions on earth.  For zoe, who identified with the christian religion, needed to have a relationship with Jesus Christ.  She could have went to church all her life, prayed, and been a good christian girl, but there is more to it then just being good.

#31DH: October 28, 2015 – A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night

Standard

Synopsis: In the Iranian ghost-town Bad City, a place that reeks of death and loneliness, the townspeople are unaware they are being stalked by a lonesome vampire.

Impressions:I liked this, the style reminded me of a jarmusch film.  The subtleness of the movement and the stark black and white picture is simply charming.  The acting and story is also to die for.

Social Message:  The film is very feministic in its approach to the vampire genre.  Most vampires are sexual, strong males, who are always in a state of seduction.  This vampire is different, the men in this film (except Arash) are vile in one way or another.  The vampire kills them because of their vile primal ways that are considered oppressive to women.  Arash is different. he is kind and loving and the times the vampire could have bit him, she doesn’t. which further shows her mission to suck the evil out of this community while preserving the good.